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This Just In...
Kevin Fischer is an award-winning veteran broadcaster who has been seen and heard on Milwaukee TV and radio stations for nearly three decades.
Kevin, who is a legislative aide to state Sen. Mary Lazich (R-New Berlin), can be seen offering his views on the news on the public affairs program, “INTERchange,” on Milwaukee Public Television Channel 10. He lives with his wife, Jennifer, in Franklin.
By Kevin Fischer
Wednesday, Jul 23 2008, 10:30 PM
This should come as no surprise to any Wisconsin homeowner. Your government, the 2008 legal incarnation of Jesse James continues to stick you up and rob you.
The Wisconsin Taxpayers Alliance says Wisconsin property taxes rose 5.7 percent in 2008. That's the largest single-year increase since 2005.
Take a guess, beleaguered property taxpayer, and my guess is you’ll get it right in nano seconds…..guess what part of your property tax bill went up the most?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
School levies rose the most, at 7.4 %
Not surprised, are you Franklin taxpayers? Your school tax levy went up just under 12 % last year.
Let me repeat. Your school tax levy increase, Franklin taxpayers was just under 12% last year, after EVERYBODY associated with the school district swore for months that the increase would be under 6%.
Now we know where a part of those huge school tax increases have gone.
You think I’m going to say right back into the classrooms, aren’t you?
Nope.
How about teacher salaries?
Extra-curricular activities?
Try salaries for superintendents.
The hired guns for school boards are getting bigger and bigger raises at a time when teachers moan and groan about having to resort to buying their own chalk for the blackboards.
Since we’re focused on the superintendent scorecard, let’s take a look at how our area superintendents are doing, salary –wise. Remember, school districts are always crying the blues that they have no money, that they have to have voters approve colossal referenda, and that students will only perform better in the classroom if communities build Miller Park-like school buildings:
Superintendent salaries and enrollments for area school districts (most available data from Wisconsin DPI):
Franklin School District Supt. Steve Patz: $150, 000 Enrollment: 4, 178
Greendale School District Supt. William Hughes: $147, 088 Enrollment: 2598
Whitnall School District Supt. Karen Petric: $143, 412 Enrollment: 2420
Oak Creek-Franklin District Supt. Sara Larsen: $134, 649 Enrollment: 5,867
Greenfield School District Supt. Conrad Farner: $105, 947 Enrollment: 3,255
Milwaukee Public Schools Supt. William G. Andrekopoulos: $171,000 Enrollment: 86, 815
Wisconsin Governor Jim Doyle: $137, 092 The national average for gubernatorial salaries is $124, 398
Whoever negotiated for Steve Patz took our School Board to the cleaners. No way, no how should Steve Patz be making more than the governor.
Franklin taxpayers, be advised, the next time you hear a Franklin teacher, or principal or administrator or School Board member or his Royal Highness, the Superintendent himself begging for money for the district, keep this blog in mind.
FYI:
Remember the biggest crook in the Franklin School District, the guy keeping track of the books, “Business Manager” James Milzer saying publicly over and over and over again that Franklin had to increase school taxes by 5.6%?
Milzer told the Franklin School Board the night they voted for the school budget that the increase was 5.6%. It turned out weeks later after I reported it on my blog that the increase was actually just under 12%.
Milzer, the man who singlehandedly screwed Franklin taxpayers and is still a trusted man on the taxpayer-funded payroll earns the following annual salary:
$119, 893
Milzer does two things when he cashes his checks, thanks to you, the Franklin taxpayers:
1) Laughs
2) Lets out a loud shout of: SUCKERS!
Your school tax dollar going directly into classroom instruction?
Guess again.
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By Kevin Fischer
Wednesday, Jul 23 2008, 10:14 PM
Longtime Milwaukee Judge Ted Wedemeyer has died, one of the classiest and most professional judges to serve in our community. I knew Judge Wedemyer and I didn't always agree with his rulings and he knew it. That never affected our professional relationship. My deepest sympathies to his family.
From jsonline.com:
Appeals Court Judge Ted E. Wedemeyer Jr. died Wednesday, five months after being diagnosed with lung cancer.
He was 75.
Wedemeyer's death surprised most of the legal community.
"I know that his death may come as a shock to most of you, as many of you did not even know he was sick," wrote Patricia S. Curley, the presiding judge in the 1st District Court of Appeals that sits in Milwaukee. "It was Ted's wish and request that his illness be kept confidential."
A lawyer for 50 years, Wedemeyer, was appointed byMayor Henry Maier as the first municipal judge for the City of Milwaukee in 1975. He helped organize the court system before his appointment.
Gov. Martin Schreiber appointed him to the circuit court in 1977, a position he held until 1982 when he was elected to the appellate court. He was defeated in his bid fore re-election to the appellate court in 1988 but won the seat again in 1991. He ran unsuccessfully for the Wisconsin Supreme Court in 1995. a job the Milwaukee Bar Association ranked him as the best qualified.
Wedemeyer successfully petitioned the Supreme Court to allow cameras in state courtrooms in the late 1970s. His municipal courtroom was the first where cameras were allowed.
He also served on a committee that worked for a victim's rights constitutional amendment and on one that advocated anti-gang legislation.
Wedemeyer is survived by his wife, Susan.
A wake will be held Sunday from 4 until 8 p.m. at Feerick Funeral Home, 2025 E. Capitol Drive. A funeral mass will be held at Old St. Mary's Church, 836 N. Broadway, at 10 a.m. Monday.
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By Kevin Fischer
Wednesday, Jul 23 2008, 08:44 PM
Only in the world of Wisconsin business could you be enthusiastic about your prospects in one instant, and then in the next have your prospects come crashing down like a fallen soufflé.
Case in point, one of the biggest products to come out of Wisconsin besides beer: cranberries.

Earlier this week, the Milwaukee Journal/Sentinel first tantalized us with the better than good news:
"Two of the largest buyers of Wisconsin cranberries are on a mission to persuade growers to increase their output, with the hope of adding $75 million annually to the state economy and creating 1,115 jobs.”
Tremendous, right?
Then came the dose of reality.
“But in order to make that happen, the presidents of Ocean Spray Cranberries Inc. and Cliffstar Corp. say the state needs to cooperate in speeding up the permit process to turn more acreage into cranberry bogs.”
We have heard that story time and time again: Wisconsin bureaucracy standing directly in the way of Wisconsin success.
“They are looking for a nearly 30% boost in acres planted —from the current 18,000 to 23,000. If they can’t get the additional 5,000 acres in Wisconsin, the cranberry industry may have to turn to Canada, they say. “
Somewhere in Madison, a taxpayer-funded bureaucrat, armed with visor, a pocket protector, and a book of statutes as thick as the Manhattan phone pages is standing with arms folded shaking his fool head saying “no, no, no, no, no.”
He might as well be saying, “I don’t care. Screw you, Wisconsin. Rules are rules. Our state economy be damned.”
Let’s cut to the chase. Wisconsin’s heavy-handed regulations are preventing Wisconsin business from doing business and prospering, to the point that we have to go internationally to get the job done instead of utilizing our own economic resources to prosper.
The villain? Take a guess: the Gestapo-like Department of Natural Resources, the state agency that isn’t happy unless it’s ruining someone’s life.
Pretty darned stupid, isn’t it? We are our own worst enemy.
We over-license, over-permit, over-regulate, over-dictate in this state. We kill business in this state by inviting firms and companies to pack up and leave for other states with climates that are fare more accepting and friendly to places that want to set up shop and create jobs and build the economy.
Why wouldn’t we bend over backwards to help the cranberry industry? Visualize a bureaucrat with a pocket protector, etc.
We need to change our laws that will make it more attractive for business to come here and stay here. If not, be prepared for more businesses to leave.
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By Kevin Fischer
Wednesday, Jul 23 2008, 06:25 PM
I’m not a fan of Transportation Security Administration (TSA) employees. In a blog last fall, I wrote, “TSA workers are unskilled, arrogant, rude rent-a-cops whom I have little faith or trust in providing the kind of security needed in our airports.” Airport security is ineffective because we have ineffective people using ineffective measures.
To make matters worse, you now have these slugs groping and practically molesting air passengers during screening. What can people do about it? If you object, are you subject to arrest? Will you be detained and miss your flight? Will some TSA Neanderthal get physical with you?
These highly unskilled people need to be reined in, and more effective, appropriate measures need to be implemented to improve airport/airline security.
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By Kevin Fischer
Wednesday, Jul 23 2008, 06:00 PM
Here are some updates on last Saturday’s edition of The Barking Lot, co-written by yours truly and my lovely wife, Jennifer.
Dogs that were taken from the Puppy Haven need new homes. That’s where you come in.
And a puppy beaten by a woman’s ex-boyfriend in Texas we told you about named Phoenix is recovering quite nicely.
Remember to check in every Saturday morning for The Barking Lot here at This Just In…
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By Kevin Fischer
Wednesday, Jul 23 2008, 05:45 PM
This is not supposed to happen in women's basketball.
I do a lot of scoring and timing for men's and women's basketball at both the college and high school level. I predict that as a result of this game and all the coverage it received, you're unfortunately going to see more fights in women's and girl's basketball games in the future. Younger players instinctively model themselves after the pros tbey see on TV. There will be more fights among female players.
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By Kevin Fischer
Wednesday, Jul 23 2008, 05:30 PM
I fill in for Mark Belling on Newstalk 1130 WISN this Friday from 3-6 pm.
I have a gazillion topics I want to get to. No, I won't get to them all.
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By Kevin Fischer
Tuesday, Jul 22 2008, 08:30 PM
Planned Parenthood, another huge supporter and donor to the Democrat Party is about as disgusting and despicable as they come.
Check this out.
All you lefties that worship and/or give $$$ to PP, are you proud of yourselves?
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By Kevin Fischer
Tuesday, Jul 22 2008, 08:15 PM
In an interview last week with the Appleton Post-Crescent, Governor Jim Doyle was given this direct question:
“Is there anything the state can do to ease the (price of gas) burden?”
Here was part of Doyle’s answer:
“I wanted to change our minimum markup law that still requires gas to be marked up at various levels. I've always thought that gas should be treated like other products and not pay the required markup.”
The Governor has claimed he’s against the minimum markup law dating back to his days as Attorney General. Just how sincere is he? We’ll find out very soon.
Today, two of the better members of the state Assembly, state Representatives Bill Kramer (R-Waukesha) and Leah Vukmir (R-Wauwatosa) asked Governor Doyle to call the Legislature into special session for a vote on repealing Wisconsin’s outmoded minimum markup law.
In a joint press release, Kramer and Vukmir write, “The minimum markup law, passed in 1939, mandates that retailers include a minimum price increase on gasoline, and also prohibits the sale of goods below cost. Last summer, and then again in November of last year, news reports indicated that Wisconsin law prohibits residents from taking advantage of cost savings.”
Kramer and Vukmir suggest repealing the minimum markup law would provide some relief at the pump. I submit a better plan would be to temporarily suspend the gas tax if you want real relief, but that’s not going to happen. Neither will a special session on minimum markup.
Let’s go back to the Governor’s Q and A where he said he favors repeal. He couched his support in his next sentence where he expressed his true sentiments.
“I'm not suggesting that would make things right because what's really at issue are these oil companies that are making the biggest profits in the history of the world.”
He’d much rather have a tax on oil companies and would only call the Legislature back if that was on the table.
Kramer and Vukmir have put forth a good effort, but it’s DOA with this Governor who often doesn’t mean what he says.
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By Kevin Fischer
Tuesday, Jul 22 2008, 05:15 PM
I will say this about former FranklinNOW blogger Greg Kowalski. He’s consistent.
A few weeks ago, just before the opening of the Sendik’s at the Shoppes of Wyndham Village, I blogged about Kowalski’s fault-finding mission with the development, even as Franklin was joyously celebrating the opening of a quality retailer.
Today, as the long-awaited Target opens at the Shoppes of Wyndham Village, guess what? Kowalski is back with another inane, clueless whine about Target. He starts out taking potshots at young FranklinNOW intern Alisha Fischer’s fine video report previewing the new Target.
C’mon, Greg. She’s just a kid. You're familiar with that pout and cry routine. You used it every day when you were blogging over here.
Kowalski says he was “astonished” (Oh my!!) that FranklinNOW “openly embraces shopping at Target for food items!”
Well, yes, Target does sell food items. Ms. Fischer correctly emphasized some of the unique offerings at this particular Target. That’s called news, Greg. What was Ms. Fischer supposed to do, Greg? Target doesn’t sell cars, or trucks, or widgets.
Kowalski then mentions Target’s selection of fine wines and in a tone that has some truth to its desperate sound asks, “can someone please tell me why I'm shopping at Sendik's Fine Foods?” The title of his blog also insinuated that the FranklinNOW video basically gave people reason not to shop at Sendik’s. It did no such thing. The video gave viewers a brief, informative inside look at Target before its opening.
Kowalski, the biz whiz that he is, seriously thinks that because Target sells food and fine wine that it will force next-door Sendik’s out of business. Is he for real? Sadly, he is. He really thinks that.
Sorry, Greg. You referred to me in your blog, even though you didn’t mention me by name. (By the way, I’m a Senate aide, not a Senatorial aide. Might want to make note of that for your next cheap shot). So as they say on “Law and Order,” you opened the door, counselor, so I’m responding to your second attack in as many weeks on a new store opening.
Competition is good for everyone. The more shopping options for Franklin residents, the better. To suggest that people won’t shop at Sendik’s because Target now has Merlot is, well, pretty dumb.
Besides, the food offerings aren’t the same at Sendik’s and Target, as was pointed out in a blog I did last year.
In his blog today, just hours before the Target ribbon-cutting, Kowalski does what he does best: engage in conjecture and wild speculation.
“If Sendik's closes that strip mall could be solely anchored by a Super Target, which is very scary to Franklin residents who have fought long and hard against massive big boxes in the community.” He then ripped the developer.
And he’s studying business at MATC? Gee, there’s tuition money well spent.
The main point is that Kowalski likes to prop himself up as the best thing that ever happened to Franklin. I did this and I did that. And yet, in the past two weeks, when Franklin has rightly celebrated the opening of long-awaited community developments, Kowalski didn’t cheer. He reached for the mud bucket.
Funny how he and others can rip a development that is actually up and running, but when I question one that’s been stuck in neutral for ages, I’m such a bad boy. But that’s another issue for another day.
Congratulations, Mark Carstensen for seeing another dream become reality. Keep in mind that you’ll never win with some folks who will constantly moan and groan and cry that there aren’t enough flowers and there aren’t enough bike stands and there aren’t enough places for them to park their butts to sit by a fountain and have coffee and a bagel and there aren’t enough walkways for the droves of people who want to walk to Target (that’s my favorite).
You done good, Mark. (By the way, was that your car parked at Wal-Mart? Oh my God, the apocalypse is at hand!).
Congratulations, Franklin. You’ve waited a long time for these developments to take shape and they’re finally here. I have every confidence you’ll be loyal in your support.
Shame on Greg Kowalski who continues his attacks on everyone from the Mayor on down, even an intern, a young intern. He totally mischaracterizes her report but he’s done that his entire blogging career, twisting and distorting, and rarely having facts to back up his wacky assertions.
Oh, and Dave Hintzman, if you’re reading, if and when Fountains of Franklin ever opens, and I certainly hope it does, I’d be real leery of your hand-picked press agent, Mr. Kowalski because he just might bad-mouth your place, too.
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By Kevin Fischer
Monday, Jul 21 2008, 09:16 PM
There’s no other way to call it.
In a classic example of media bais, the NY Times accepts an op-ed piece written by Barack Obama, then refuses a piece from John McCain.
The op-ed editor offers a condescending, arrogant defense, and even suggests how McCain should write a revision.
This will continue right up until November, folks. The mainstream media is a wholly owned and paid for subsidiary of the Democrat Party, and it’s becoming more and more obvious every day.
Here is the McCain piece rejected by the NY Times.
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By Kevin Fischer
Monday, Jul 21 2008, 09:01 PM
Which southeast Wisconsin website has this message:
Our Website Is Under Construction - Return Again Soon To Read More About...
????????????????
Answer... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
The Fountains of Franklin
That would be the same website that used to have all those dates of when certain promised tenants would be opening.
Hmmmm…..
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By Kevin Fischer
Monday, Jul 21 2008, 08:31 PM
An utter disregard for human life continues to be an outrageous societal trend.
I’ve blogged about cases involving heartless individuals who despicably refuse to assist others in desperate need.
Here’s the latest, from Italy, another sad commentary on the human existence.
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By Kevin Fischer
Monday, Jul 21 2008, 06:45 PM
Steve Taylor and Kristen Wilhelm of the Franklin Common Council and David Works and Linda Witkowski of the Franklin School Board have been fortunate. Their first few months in office have been relatively quiet, absent of any huge controversies, allowing them time to comfortably transition themselves into their new positions.
That’s about to change.
“Untested” will soon no longer be used to describe this foursome as budget time quickly descends upon the city of Franklin. By far, the most important issue to most Franklin residents is our out of whack tax climate. No doubt Taylor/Wilhelm/Works/Witkowski heard it quite often on the campaign trail. Hope their ears were open and their memories are long because this year’s budget process will be challenging for both the city and the School Board.
Let’s handicap the city tax situation first.
Mayor Tom Taylor, I believe correctly, signed a pledge to submit a budget that contained a city property tax levy increase no larger than 3%. None of the Franklin aldermen signed such a pledge. Franklin blogger Fred Keller and I met with Aldermen Steve Olson and Lyle Sohns in hopes of getting them to sign, but they said no. Concerned Franklin citizen Scott Thinnes was also part of that meeting prior to the election.
Alderman Steve Taylor, the Franklin Common Council President has stated publicly that he will not support a budget that contains a property tax levy greater than 3%. That’s great news and Taylor deserves high praise.
Alderman Wilhelm is on the Finance Committee. Wilhelm told me at the fundraiser for Citizens for a Safe Wisconsin back in February that she was aware of and concerned about Franklin’s astronomical (my word, not hers) taxes. On fiscal items, Wilhelm appears to be playing it close to the vest and is far less predictable than Taylor. It’s just a hunch, but I suspect Wilhelm would vote for a budget that exceeded 3%.
What about the rest of the Common Council?
During last year’s Finance Committee budget deliberations, Franklin’s Alderman NO was Steve Olson, voting time and again against expenditures. But on the final vote to approve the budget, Olson voted YES rather than be the lone NO vote. I think that was the wrong move. Olson should have remained consistent to his principles. It’s the final vote that counts as opposed to all those tallies in committee. Olson has a chance to redeem himself this year and I believe there’s a good chance he will.
Alderman Sohns looked me straight in the face before the election and condescendingly told me that there was no way Franklin could adopt a budget with only a 3% increase. He would have no part of such talk. The defeatist attitude was loud and clear. Sohns did say he’d try very hard to work towards a 3% limit, but also told me and Fred Keller and Scott Thinnes it was impossible.
Sohns is the wild card in the budget equation. If he abandons his woe is us philosophy in favor of a can-do approach, Sohns has fiscal conservative streaks in him. If his colleague Olson supports 3%, Sohns, who often sides with Olson may just follow suit.
That would give you three votes. Ken Skowronski, a supporter of Mayor Taylor’s could provide the 4th and deciding vote. So as difficult as some at City Hall may think it might be to hold the line at 3%, there’s hope it can be accomplished, IF the Aldermen are willing to make the tough choices they were elected to make.
I have far less optimism for our School Board. The talk is that the proposed school tax levy increase will be less than 4%. Compared to last year’s nearly 12% shocker, that sounds terrific.
Here’s the problem. This school board can’t be trusted. No way. No how. They’re already tossing out the caveat that the levy increase is subject to change. Don’t we know it. Last year it jumped six percentage points. The School Board lied to us last year for months. I don’t believe anything they say.
David Works has impressed me. If he follows through and refuses to succumb to the other Board members, I submit the taxpayers have a friend who won’t compromise the goal of quality education.
Linda Witkowski, I’m afraid, worries me. She supported the outrageous Franklin referenda. She’s a bureaucrat, an insider who could very well be indoctrinated into the theory that you’ve got to spend and spend. Prove me wrong, Linda.
Works and Witkowski are but two members. Even if they scratch and claw and fight and scream for fiscal responsibility, they’re outnumbered by a bunch of stick-up artists. Board President Dave Szychlinski has said the public won’t put up with increases like the one last year. He’s right, but I remain highly skeptical this school board understands.
The odds of any fiscal responsibility are far better at City Hall than at the School Board. Steve Taylor and David Works have the best chance of making great impressions in their first budget deliberations. The jury’s out on Kristen Wilhelm and Linda Witkowski.
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By Kevin Fischer
Monday, Jul 21 2008, 06:31 PM
FranklinNOW's Alisha Fischer gives us a look.
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By Kevin Fischer
Monday, Jul 21 2008, 06:17 PM
“There are people in this world who are morally and ideologically opposed to us. We call them the left. They are a group of people who want you to surrender your hard earned money so they can give it to someone else who did not earn it and probably would not need it, but for the their insistence on government dependence.
Their rhetoric is ‘hope and change.’ You know, hope and change are always buzzwords in the revolution against freedom. The only change theyʼll offer is more government. The only choice theyʼll offer you is whether or not to abort your kids. The policies of the last eight years will be replaced by the failed policies of the last 100 years.”
Those are the words of Erick Erickson, the editor of Redstate.com.
He’s advocating greater political activism on the right through the use of the Internet.
Read more here.
HT to a fellow freedom fighter, Orv Seymer.
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By Kevin Fischer
Monday, Jul 21 2008, 05:30 PM
It’s been a few months, so it’s time for another This Just In edition of:
FINAL JEOPARDY!
Are you ready?
Well then, let’s play!
Today’s Final Jeopardy category is:
MOVIE CHARACTERS
Now, you know how this works.
In a moment, I’ll give you the Final Jeopardy clue.
You will have 30 seconds (if you play fair, that will be when the music runs out) to come up with an answer and remember, players……… your answer must be in the form of a question.
Ready.
Here’s your clue.
ACCORDING TO CNBC, THE COST IT WOULD TAKE TODAY FOR SOMEONE TO ACTUALLY BE BATMAN. .
Good luck! (please click)
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
OK, time’s up. Today’s Final Jeopardy category is MOVIE CHARACTERS.
The Final Jeopardy clue was, ACCORDING TO CNBC, THE COST IT WOULD TAKE TODAY FOR SOMEONE TO ACTUALLY BE BATMAN.
The correct Final Jeopardy answer is:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
In this video.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
Again, the Final Jeopardy answer is:
What is $100-million.
Being Batman wouldn't be that cool.
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Jul 20 2008, 09:40 PM
KEVIN: Yes, Jennifer?
JENNIFER: Thank you for taking me to Festa Italiana today.
KEVIN: You are most welcome dear.
JENNIFER: Thanks for buying me lots of good things to eat and drink.
KEVIN: What’s a great husband for?
JENNIFER: Although I thought we could have spent more time in the Italian Gold section….
KEVIN: I had to go to the men’s room.
JENNIFER: Oh, I understand and I’m not complaining.
KEVIN: Then what are you getting at?
JENNIFER: Well, being on the Summerfest grounds got me to thinking…
KEVIN: Oh no…
JENNIFER: Will you just shush….
KEVIN: Thinking about what? A trip? A new car? What?
JENNIFER: None of those things.
KEVIN: Oh! Well in that case….
JENNIFER: Oh, hush up and listen. I was thinking…
KEVIN: You’re very blonde and very Polish…
JENNIFER: Kevin! Be nice!
KEVIN: Yes dear. Of course, dear. Three bags full, dear.
JENNIFER: Are you done? I just wanted to remind you that next week it’s German Fest.
KEVIN: That’s right. German pizza and spanferkel and German beer and Ein Prosit and….
JENNIFER: Yes, yes, yes…..but there’s more. They’ve got these dogs….
KEVIN: No, they don’t have dogs. They have bratwurst, and…
JENNIFER: I’m talking dogs, not hot dogs ….real dogs.
KEVIN: Real dogs?
JENNIFER: Yes, real dogs. Can we go to German Fest?
KEVIN: We always go to German Fest. I’m 100% German and 100% Irish, remember.
JENNIFER: Then we can go Saturday?
KEVIN: I suppose. Can you get The Barking Lot done and not tie up the computer?
JENNIFER: Well, that’s what I want to talk to you about.
KEVIN: A new Batman movie is out and you’re the Riddler. Speak up!
JENNIFER: I know it’s not Saturday…
KEVIN: You’re blonde and Polish and you got that right….
JENNIFER: And I know I already did the Barking Lot Saturday….
KEVIN: Yes, and it was outstanding…not as good as my stuff, but it was pretty good…
JENNIFER: Well, could I blog again?
KEVIN: You want to blog again??!!
JENNIFER: Umm…
KEVIN: It’s not Saturday! It’s not your turn! You start blogging on other days and the readers will get all confused! Aw geez!
JENNIFER: But I forgot…
KEVIN: Forgot? Forgot what?
JENNIFER: Forgot about German Fest.
KEVIN: No you didn’t. I promise I’ll take you and since I’m such a nice guy, I’ll buy you extra apple sauce.
JENNIFER: That’s not it. I forgot to mention something in The Barking Lot.
KEVIN: Ay caramba!
JENNIFER: Well, I got all wound up in that awesome Humane Society story…
KEVIN: And you forgot…
JENNIFER: And I forgot about German Fest.
KEVIN: I told you I’ll take you to German Fest., alright. Now can I get back to….
JENNIFER: No, no, no. I wanted to mention something about German Fest in The Barking Lot.
KEVIN: Is that all?
JENNIFER: Yes.
KEVIN: No more talk about Italian Gold?
JENNIFER: Uh uh.
KEVIN: Well then, what are you waiting for?
JENNIFER: German Fest runs this coming weekend at the Summerfest grounds. I recommend going Saturday for the dachshund races! Here are details!
Danke Schoen, Kevin, my dear sweet husband!
KEVIN: No problem. So, when do you want to go to German Fest? Sunday?
JENNIFER: And he calls me Polish..
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Jul 20 2008, 08:30 PM
I have to admit, I am reveling in seeing lefty blogger James Rowen get the elitist environmental snobbery kicked out of him by righty bloggers.
Unless you subscribe to Rowen’s philosophy of kissing 50 different trees daily, or if you just happen to be a conservative, Rowen arrogantly attacks you.
Rowen recently proved what a doofus he truly is by calling righty blogger, “No Runny Eggs” a racist because he referred to Milwaukee County Board Chairman Lee Holloway as a “thug.”
Rowen, you see, is an incredibly guilty white liberal a la Joel McNally. What kind of warped mind actually sees racism in the word, “thug”? That is an assertion that is so stupid it’s laughable. Rowen either needs to consult a dictionary or emerge from his ivory tower world of “green” to realize that there are black thugs, Hispanic thugs, and yes, even white thugs. No ethnic group has a monopoly on the title, thus, using the word “thug” is not racist.
But it is so simple for the debate-challenged left to toss out the race card when they run out of material, which for Rowen and liberals amounts to about 12 seconds. That’s when the bumper sticker crying towels come flying out. The public is wise to this tactic, but Rowen is too dumb to fathom it.
I am pleased that a bevy of righty bloggers has decided to pinpoint Rowen for the fool he is by writing about his moronic accusation:
Badger Blogger
Boots and Sabers
James Wigderson
Brian Fraley
What’s really nice about this is that a group of righty bloggers has correctly banded together and has refused to suck up to the lefties. They clearly understand that gets you nowhere as a conservative. Lefties will stab you in the back, no matter how nice you are to them.
I’m on the air on Friday this week, possibly too late to discuss Rowen’s absurd and idiotic statements. I certainly hope other talk show hosts, whom Rowen has looked down his long nose at in the past, will pick up on this, and give him the criticism he deserves.
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Jul 20 2008, 09:00 AM
In the broadcast business, it's called a "tease."
They are short promotional announcements designed to entice you to watch an upcoming program.
"WOMEN WHO HATE MEN, ON THE NEXT OPRAH!"
These teases can be extended to :30, packaged into an "update."
Hmmmm.
I think I've seen that guy before.
Teasing is also done in the print business. This old cover of "Cosmopolitan" is loaded with teases, the "grabbers" that get your attention in the supermarket line.

Just about every publication uses this promotional tool on its cover. On a recent bookstore visit, I picked up this magazine specifically because of a tease on the cover. Note the second of three teases underneath the magazine title:

"The burger that will change your life."
This, I thought, I gotta see. With a billing like that, this burger has to be the most scrumptious epicurean delight ever made by human hands, so good that it was actually the food of choice that Eve used to tempt Adam.
The tease-writer was successful, I was hooked.
Trembling with excitement, I flipped the pages past one recipe after another until I came upon the burger that would change my life.
When I worked in broadcasting 24/7, a rule of thumb I tried to live by, especially when “teasing” was that if you promised something, you’d better deliver. For example, if you told your audience you had the top ten ways to get your wife to mow the lawn, you better have not 7 or 8 or 9 but the whole shooting match. (By the way, I never really worked on that story but if anyone has the specifics, could you e-mail me, please?)
So, no National Inquirer-type promos, the kind that have people scoffing, “C’mon, that’s ridiculous!”
Gourmet Magazine almost had me drooling a la Pavlov’s dog. The article hyped on the front page was about an Aussie Burger, referred to by a Gourmet Magazine food editor as “the ultimate,” and “awesome.”
She wrote about the “amazing toppings.” This ultimate, awesome amazing burger that would change my life has eggs, pineapple rings, and mounds of pickled beets.
There in the bookstore, clutching Gourmet Magazine, not in complete and utter disappointment, I hearkened back to the wise words of another food expert, “Fonzie” in “Happy Days.”
Fonzie once said that ketchup and ice cream, when they’re apart are, well, AYYYYY, two thumbs up. But put them together? Thumbs down, baby.
Gourmet never truly makes the case why the Aussie Burger is a life-changing experience. Read the article that has a link to the recipe.
There are lots of ways to make a great burger. But it’s real easy to mess things up by overdoing in the hopes of building a quintessential masterpiece.
Wisconsin State Journal columnist last week wrote about a New York Times piece on how the French have embraced the hamburger.
Moe writes:
“According to the Times, one Paris restaurant makes its burger ‘with pine nuts and thyme mixed into the meat, ‘ then places it ‘on a toasted whole-wheat English muffin. ‘Another tops its burgers with ‘slabs of foie gras, ‘fattened livers of a duck or goose.Yet another includes both mayonnaise and mustard on the same burger -- and charges $56. The problem is summed up in this quote from one Paris chef: ‘The burger has become gastronomic.’ The next thing you know, they’ll use a knife and fork, and in fact many Parisians do when confronted with a burger.”
In his column, Moe writes about a GQ Magazine article from 2005, "The 20 Hamburgers You Must Eat Before You Die."
One of their suggestions does look very appetizing, if not life-changing, the Rouge Burger from the Rouge in Philadelphia. Here it is:
Good meat, slathered in cheese, a toasted bun, some sides like tomato and lettuce. How can you go wrong? Imagine you're having a backyard cookout, you invite lots of friends over, and you're grilling burgers. For a great party, you make sure you've got cheese, onions, pickles, ketchup, mustard, mayo, etc. so your guests have plenty of choices to make a great burger. You don't need pickled beets and pineapple rings and brussels sprouts. Of course not. Classic burgers with classic combinations.
But is that really good enough?
Not if you ask chef Nancy Silverton, the co-founder of Campanile restaurant and La Brea Bakery in Los Angeles. When you find out how she throws a burger cookout, you're going to feel mighty inadequate.
The LA Times tagged along at one of Silverton’s soirees to carefully observe how an expert prepares what she considers the perfect burger.
Silverton lights her barbecue pit at 8:00 a.m. with a fire made from almond wood (Kingsford doesn’t make that stuff, do they?). When her guests arrive in the middle of the day, the toppings are ready and buns are sliced.
The bun. No fancy, schmancy 12-grain deal. Pita bread? Are you crazy? Just the time-honored, soft variety.
The key is the ratio of bun to meat. It has to be 50-50 so you can avoid…..
The toppings must be traditional…no foie-gras!
Ketchup is good. But is that good enough?
No, Silverton insists on Heinz ketchup.
Mayo, you’ve got to have mayo, but is having mayo good enough?
Best Foods Mayo if you’re in the western part of the country, Hellman’s in our neck of the woods.
Ok, you’ve got the Hellman’s. Is that good enough?
Nope.
Silverton likes to serve the mayo three ways: plain, mixed up with chiles and a third with garlic and tapenade.
Mustard? Are you kidding me? Gotta have mustard….Dijon mustard. Is that good enough?
Well……no.
You must have two types of Dijon, plain and whole grain.
Lettuce…..there must be lettuce. Will any lettuce do?
Umm, no.
It must be iceberg, one crisp leaf per person.
Onions. God, I love onions on a burger. Silverton advises one full slice of red onion per person.
Ok, I can handle that. Red onions. Is that good enough? One slice of red onion per person?
You’ve detected a pattern here, haven’t you..
NO, that’s not good enough silly! You have to salt and pepper the onions.
Make sure there’s the Mezzetta brand of Tuscan Pepperoncini as well.
Did we forget anything?
Yeh, we did.
Tomatoes. Brandywines, Russians, Beefsteak.
Silverton includes avocados with her toppings, recommending they be sliced thickly.
Bacon. Oh, yes! Applewood-smoked and not crispy. Is that good enough? I don’t let the bacon get crispy. Check.
No. Two pieces of bacon per guest (because people snitch).
If you’re not yelling at the computer screen by now, you should be.
CHEESE, WE MUST HAVE CHEESE!
I’ll just serve good ol’ American and that’ll be okay, right?
Negative!
Three cheeses if you pleases: blue, cheddar and Gruyere.
Any brand?
No.
Point Reyes blue, Grafton cheddar and cave-aged Gruyere.
OK, you’ve hunted and searched for all three. Is that good enough, chef Silverton?
No.
Crumble the blue. Ditto for the cheddar. Sprinkle the crumbles and delight as they ooze and melt.
Do you crumble the Gruyere, too?
Are you from Wisconsin or not?
No you don’t crumble the Gruyere, you fool! You serve that in slices or risk being a total failure.
The meat. Very important.
Get up early. Go to the butcher the day of the cookout.
Order whole prime chuck ground with 13% sirloin fat added by weight.
Back home, the patties formed will be 8 ounces each, two inches thick.

Beatrice de Gea / Los Angeles Times FIRE IT UP: Silverton tops patties, made of beef with at least 20% to 28% fat, with crumbled chunks of blue cheese, left, and cheddar. "With lean meat," she says, "the burgers don't hold together." Regular salt? No way. Kosher salt. The result?
 Béatrice de Géa / Los Angeles Times TOP THIS: The hamburger according to Silverton stars fat-enriched, coarse-ground prime chuck that's seasoned generously and handled gently.
Feeling inadequate?
Silverton does throw a helluva party.
But you'll probably never have her over anyway.
It's easy and wrong to overdo it and be too creative with a burger. Silverton, one could argue, also overdoes it. But she overdoes it in so many really goooooooooood ways.
The perfect burger?
What's been the recurring theme here?
No.
There is no such creation as the perfect burger.
But Silverton comes pretty darn close.
To read previous Culinary no-no’s, please click CULINARY NO-NO under my TAGS section.
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