When I was in my early 20’s, I dated a lovely gal named Mary Stott. She had a little brother named Jimmy, and when I’d go over to the Stott’s for dinner, Mrs. Stott would always try to entice Jimmy to eat broccoli.
“Jimmy, want to eat a tree?”
And the strategy worked.
Jimmy loved broccoli.
Mrs. Stott used verbal trickery.
Jessica Seinfeld, the wife of Jerry Seinfeld just uses plain old trickery.
As her three children got older, getting them to eat healthy foods became increasingly more difficult. So the clever devil would sneak unappetizing food, the stuff that’s good for you, into items her children would eat.
Jessica Seinfeld has written a new book about her culinary skullduggery called, “Deceptively Delicious.”
Deceptive? You bet.
Delicious? I’m not so sure.
Mrs. S. puts chickpeas in her chocolate chip cookies.
Her website says the book offers mouth-watering recipes.
Mouth-watering, hey…
Chicken nuggets with broccoli or spinach or sweet potato or basil.
Chocolate cake with beets.
Blueberry oatmeal bars with spinach.
Macaroni and cheese with butternut squash or cauliflower.
Scrambled eggs with cauliflower.
C’mon, this isn’t child abuse, but it’s mean.
You were a kid once. Tell me you would have been cool with this.
It would have been barf city had I been forced to eat brownies with pureed beets.
What’s wrong with, “Hey Jimmy, you’ve got to eat your veggies. They’re good for you. They’ll make you strong and healthy. You want to grow up to be just like Kevin Fischer, don’t you?”
OK.
Maybe skip that last line.
This is, for the lack of a more sophisticated term, yucky.
This isn’t an episode of M*A*S*H* where Radar is sneaking Colonel Potter’s horse, Sophie her pills stuffed into an apple. These are your kids!
You wouldn’t put carrots and beets on a Happy Meal, would you?
I don’t care if she is Seinfeld’s wife.
Deceptively Delicious ain’t.
PREVIOUS CULINARY NO-NO’S
1) Ketchup on a brat
2) Green peppers on pizza
3) The dirty martini
4) Fruity brats
5) A Bloody Mary after dinner
6) Women “manning” the grill
7) Eating pizza at Festa Italiana, brats at German Fest, or tacos at Fiesta Mexicana. (Be adventurous. You can have those items anytime).
8) Eating a cream puff as though it was a hamburger.
9) Taking your own bottle of sauce when invited to a barbecue.
10) Touching the grill if you’re a guest at an outdoor barbecue.
11) Coaching the host on how to grill.
12) Some regional flavored ice cream…..like black licorice.
13) Taking the husks off before you grill corn on the cob
14) Being afraid to chill red wine
15) Pizza on the grill
16) When serving exotic or strange dishes to guests, do not tell them exactly what it is. Instead, use a more inviting term (caviar) rather than being blunt (fish eggs).
17) In late summer and early fall, this time of year, don’t buy zucchini. Somehow, someway, you will find zucchini or zucchini will find you.
18) Showing disrespect to your restaurant server.
19) Eating out on a Monday night.
20) Pumpkin beer.
21) Mail-order turkey.
22) Grilled cheese is just for kids.
23) Dining in the dark.
24) Ketchup on spaghetti
WILL YOU MAKE A STAND TO SAVE LAWS TO PROTECT CHILDREN FROM SEX OFFENDERS?
