The holidays are rapidly approaching.
A lot of people will be sending, and receiving long-distance gifts, usually of the edible variety.
That means fruitcakes, candy, popcorn tins, glazed fruit, meats and cheeses.
Not everyone on the receiving end will be doing cartwheels.
So, you get a baked good in the mail from Aunt Hazel that looks like its true and more effective purpose would be a doorstop.
Do you feed it to Fido?
The mailman?
Another relative you’re not crazy about?
Or does the disposal get to swallow?
After all, Aunt Hazel will never know, right?
I should toss it, shouldn’t I?
This particular culinary conundrum was cataclysmic enough for one reader to pen a letter of concern recently to DEAR ABBY:
DEAR ABBY: Every year I receive baked goods from a friend who lives across the country. They are petrified by the time they arrive. About the same time, I get food baskets containing highly processed food and waxy chocolate candies (heart attack inducers, I call them) by mail-order from several family members. I have never eaten this kind of food. I throw it all right in the trash. It bothers me to be wasteful, but I don't want the stuff, and it's not suitable to give to a shelter. I have asked repeatedly that any gifts to me be donations to charities of their choice. It doesn't matter what I say; I keep getting stuff I don't want. Any ideas how I can get my message across without being perceived as rude or ungrateful? -- PIQUED IN PALM DESERT
Even before I saw Abigail’s response, the obvious answer jumped out at me.
DEAR PIQUED: You have already gotten your message across. Your friend and family members have chosen to ignore it. Your name is probably part of a long list that is routinely submitted to these mail-order companies every year -- and removing it may take more effort than these people are willing to exert.
Even though you have never eaten "this kind of food," plenty of others do. Rather than letting it go to waste, offer it to friends, neighbors and co-workers. Don't just throw it away.
Because one man’s fruitcake is another man’s tiramisu. Or something like that.
If the option isn’t Bon Appetit, then you find someone else to take Aunt Hazel’s display of hospitality off your hands.
PREVIOUS CULINARY NO-NO’S
1) Ketchup on a brat
2) Green peppers on pizza
3) The dirty martini
4) Fruity brats
5) A Bloody Mary after dinner
6) Women “manning” the grill
7) Eating pizza at Festa Italiana, brats at German Fest, or tacos at Fiesta Mexicana. (Be adventurous. You can have those items anytime).
8) Eating a cream puff as though it was a hamburger.
9) Taking your own bottle of sauce when invited to a barbecue.
10) Touching the grill if you’re a guest at an outdoor barbecue.
11) Coaching the host on how to grill.
12) Some regional flavored ice cream…..like black licorice.
13) Taking the husks off before you grill corn on the cob
14) Being afraid to chill red wine
15) Pizza on the grill
16) When serving exotic or strange dishes to guests, do not tell them exactly what it is. Instead, use a more inviting term (caviar) rather than being blunt (fish eggs).
17) In late summer and early fall, this time of year, don’t buy zucchini. Somehow, someway, you will find zucchini or zucchini will find you.
18) Showing disrespect to your restaurant server.
19) Eating out on a Monday night.
20) Pumpkin beer.
21) Mail-order turkey.
22) Grilled cheese is just for kids.
23) Dining in the dark.
24) Ketchup on spaghetti
25) Sneaking healthy foods into treats to get your kids to eat it.
